In negotiations, experts state that you won't get far if you don't understand the other party's motivation. If the other party has no interest and no urgency, the deal is more likely to fall through.In this article, I will discuss uncovering the motivation.

Carrot or Stick

There are two types of motivation: toward and away from. The essential difference lies in how someone is prompted to take action. The away-from types will act when there is a problem. If there is a fire right now. If a significant risk emerges that needs to be avoided. The focus is on the present moment and the problem at hand. It also seems that these people tend to talk mostly about negative things and what is going wrong.

The toward types are focused on achieving something positive. They only take action when there is an enticing prospect. Their focus is on the future and on something positive, such as high revenue, a large order, or a promotion.

When gaining people's support, it is important to align with their motivational style. With the away-from types, you delve deeper into the problem, while with the toward types, you highlight future benefits. This approach is also known as the carrot (toward) or stick (away-from) strategy.

Powerfull Approach

Most people have a mix of both styles. We all want to achieve something positive in the future and prevent our loved ones from getting hit by a car. It has been proven that people react strongly to loss, twice as strongly as to a reward (see Chapter 2.5, Loss Aversion). Based on this, it is beneficial in an influence situation to focus mainly on the extent of the problem. Salespeople often use the metaphor for this purpose:'burning platform'. You have to keep probing about what is going wrong and what the risks are until the other person feels and expresses that there is no other way to take action. You can do this, for example, with questions such as:

• What is the exact underlying problem?
• What will go wrong if nothing is done?
• How much time and money will it cost if we let this escalate?
• What could be the consequences if this is not resolved?
• What does it mean for you personally if there is no solution to this?
• How much does it cost now to correct the mistake afterward?

It comes down to stoking the fire higher and not presenting solutions until the other person has truly felt the problem. After that, you proceed with a potential approach, a direction.

Metaprograms

If you want to know which motivational style you adopt, you can take a test on metaprograms at the E-learning modules of Chapter 12 . You can gain a first insight into your style by exploring a few significant decisions you've made recently. Reflect on what ultimately tipped the scales. Was it something negative you wanted to avoid, or something positive you wanted to achieve?