One method to motivate someone is by appealing to their higher values. This article will guide you on how to uncover these paramount values.

Hierarchy of Values

Individuals hold various beliefs and deem certain principles important, guiding their behaviors through a set of values. What is often overlooked is the existence of a hierarchy within these values, a subconscious ranking that influences decision-making. Understanding this hierarchy can be instrumental when you encounter resistance or inertia in a conversational partner. By identifying and appealing to higher values, you can initiate movement and overcome obstacles.

Example of Value Prioritization

Consider a female colleague who values both earning a significant income and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. If the former takes precedence, she may work overtime, sacrificing sleep to meet her financial goals. Conversely, if her health is her top priority, she's more likely to strive for a sustainable work-life balance, ensuring she has time for nutritious meals and regular exercise. This scenario illustrates how a person's actions are often a reflection of their value hierarchy.

Identifying Higher Values

When a conversation stalls due to someone's adherence to specific behaviors or they seem stuck, exploring higher values can provide a breakthrough. This involves inquiring about exceptions to their stated priorities. Begin by understanding what they value and then delve into exceptions to these rules. The process is as follows:

You: "Why do you prioritize taking an extended lunch break, especially when we have many waiting customers?"
Other: "My health is incredibly important to me. Neglecting it has led to sickness before."
You: "I understand that your health is a priority. Are there any circumstances where you might forego your sumptuous lunch? What would need to happen?"
Other: "The only time I'd skip it is if my manager is present and makes it clear that I need to continue working. Then, I'd worry about my job security."
You: "And if your manager insists you work through but you choose not to, what could compel you to make that decision?"
Other: "If something urgent came up with my daughter requiring me to go home, that's when I'd leave."

Through this dialogue, you can discern a hierarchy of values from the other person: health, job security, and child care.

Influencing with Higher Values

Imagine you're in a discussion with your colleague, aware of her value hierarchy as previously mentioned. For instance, you're facing a challenging workload because she takes very long lunch breaks. Utilize your insight into her priorities by expressing, "I need you to limit your lunch break to no more than half an hour because I'm left to manage everything solo, and it's quite challenging. I plan to bring this up in next week's team meeting with our supervisor to know her perspective and our mutual expectations. Naturally, we'll accommodate emergencies, like if something comes up at home, we'll cover for each other. What are your thoughts on this?"

Navigating an Unclear Hierarchy

Given the powerful impact of leveraging higher values, negotiators tend to guard them closely. They often conceal their genuine concerns and priorities. Gaining insight into these hidden values necessitates the establishment of a strong and trusting rapport.