In this article, we explore techniques for reframing unhelpful language. Such language, expressed by your conversation partner during discussions, might obstruct progress, cooperation, or personal growth.
Building Rapport
In conversations, the initial step is always to establish rapport, achieved by mirroring the other person's body posture, gestures, and vocal tone, as well as by echoing key words. This sets the stage for a productive dialogue, enabling ongoing questioning and a deeper understanding of the other's perspective. However, it's typical for individuals to use pointed or harsh words that stall progress. Such language is often deployed unconsciously, with speakers unaware of its self-limiting effects (and potentially the effects on others). In the conversation's early stages, adopting these sharp words helps maintain rapport. The question then becomes, how do you transition from here?
Transitioning Language
The goal is to transform constraining language into expressions that open possibilities. This can be effectively done in your inquiries and paraphrasing. For instance, if someone describes a critical flaw in organizational structure and states that the management is incapable of making decisions. After building rapport, you can reframe your questions as follows:
- "What aspects of the organization do you see as yet to be optimized?"
- "Could there be underlying reasons why decisions are pending from management?"
It's even better if you summarize your conversation partner’s beliefs, before proceeding with your query. This could be articulated as:
- "To ensure I've understood you correctly, you perceive the organizational setup as suboptimal. How do envision its improvement?"
- “So you say management is still considering a different structure in the organization. What direction do you think should be taken, and how could you contribute to this process?”
Conclusion
Be vigilant for language that hinders rather than helps. Subtly reshape such language in your responses and summaries to foster a more open and constructive dialogue.