A frequent inquiry when establishing rapport revolves around the question: when can I simply be myself again? When is it appropriate to assert my perspective, especially if I believe the other person is mistaken? Although insisting on being right may not always be the best approach, the essence of the question holds significance: when can I begin to steer the direction of a conversation meaningfully?
The concept of FFL—follow-follow-lead—provides a structured response. Initially, you align with the other person's communicative style, mirroring their body language, adopting their verbal cues, and matching their conversational patterns based on metaprograms. This initial phase of following is crucial for establishing rapport. You ensure you're accurately mirroring them—this constitutes the second "follow." Once this connection is firmly established, you transition into leading, guiding the conversation towards your perspectives and approaches. If done adeptly, the other person will naturally follow your lead, fostering a dynamic exchange of ideas, though not necessarily agreeing on everything. Should rapport falter during the dialogue, it's essential to revert to attentively following again, spending time to reconnect and re-establish the flow of communication.
This process of FFL can be likened to a bus driver's journey. Despite having a specific destination in mind and the eagerness to reach it promptly, she must periodically stop to pick up passengers. She takes the time to allow passengers to board and settle before proceeding. Similarly, in conversations, securing that initial connection with your conversational partner is akin to having passengers comfortably seated, ready for the journey ahead.